the way things can change

its winter again. i look outside and i'm not sure whats going on in my head but i don't think i have a lot of memories i'm to fond of from winter. but its still one of my favorite times of year. life's been changing a bit. i found out how hard wrestling is and how much time i have to dedicate to it. me and my girlfriend are accepting that we are far from perfect even though i do believe us to be perfect for each other. I've started trying a lot harder in school once again you can blame Sheryl mostly. but i just want my life to turn around. smarter in shape a better friend to people i care about and a better guy for Sheryl. i used to feel like a screw up all the time. i think its about time i started taking the steps i need to take to change that. so i'm starting with school Sheryl wrestling and my parents. over all though i cant complain about life i truly have everything i need to be happy and so much more if i can just learn to be content with it. there is no depth or real reason i'm writing this i actually used names and im sorry but i just feel like saying whats been on my mind. if your reading this have a nice night and or day :)

choices....

right and wrong good and bad. all my life ive tried to do the right thing, feel bad when i do the wrong, and work my hardest to be responsible. well ive finally started making decisions where im tired of being the responsible one. sometimes the wrong decision is right. im not saying im going to start going around making the wrong decision about everything but im done just making decisions on what people have always told me is right or wrong. im going to start focusing on my life make my decisions and live my own life. where this kinda thinking will take me i dont know but its time to stop acting like im five and just do things on my own its time for my choices to affect my life and me to handle the responsibility of my own actions


pc

emotional?

Happy, Sad, Angry, Enraged, Horny, Blissfull, Confused, Stressed, Depressed? So full of emotions. Just chemicals and hormones running wild in our bodys but so controlling. Basing how we act, what we do, who we are with on how we feel. The people were around the song were listning to the movie were watching little things decide how we feel all the time. Is it a blessing or a curse? what makes us feel that these silly emotions are so important when there so trivial and useless? Or are they what make us who we are? are they the most important things that we will ever posses? controlled or running wild our emotions are the things that define us for a second or for the rest of our lives. use them wisely. but always be in control of your emotions and never let your emotions be in control of you.

passions and desires

I cant even figure out where to begin with what I'm thinking. Some people let there Passions and Desires run their lives. I am one of them if I want something I go after it with my whole heart. What do we do when our desires lead us away from what we want. When we suddenly find ourselves in a morally gray area we get all confused and don't know what to do. Our first response is to tell a friend or someone close to us what happened but some people don't work like that some people don't feel comfortable telling people what they do say or think. So what do you do when you don't let people know whats on your heart or mind (depending on what you believe). If your reading this and want to know the answer I am sorry but i can't give it. The things that drive me to live are bringing me down. The things i want stay in my brain. When i have everything i need why do i need more. Letting your emotions run your life isn't a bad thing but just be careful what you wish for and always keep yourself in check.

obsticals

Life loves to give us emotional rollercoasters that we will have to face on a day to day basis. Today was a little bit extreem in my eyes though. I spent all day with my Girlfriend today shes amazing to me in every way we were having an awesome time just hanging out at the mall. we did everything from shopping in all the stores, to eating, to crazy hurricane machines. we got bored and decided to see a movie until her aunt showed up. Harmless right? Yeahhhhh that's what we thought to. well to cut the story short, she now cant see me for maybe weeks untill school starts, and even then it will just be at school. I'm still trying to convince her she is the one thing that makes sensce to me in my life and that i'll wait for her as long as it takes but oh well i guess we'll see how that goes. All the trials and tribulations life gives us will mold our character. As hard as it seems there is nothing we can't handle. I believe that as much as i believe the sky is blue,and this of all things i will wait out patiently and in the end I think the wait will prove worth it.

can you make sence of the madness?

Everyone in this world has problems and we all worry about them. i am included in this. Simply put we all worry to much some more than others. This causes severe mental trauma leading to us needing, Counselors, Psychiatrist,s People to confide in, and All other sorts of mental masturbation. Worrying about all of our problems makes us so focused on how bad things are we make them worse. The stress and the worry become a problem all to them selves. In our attempts to feel better we make it worse. I am so guilty of this, I  over think everything I do, I worry, I stress, and I focus on it for hours if not days. I think what can make the difference between madness and happiness is someone to confide in, some one to let in. Once we can share our problems with each other we find our selves more open and more care free. We form bonds of friendship and sometimes more. we really need people there to confide in and to keep us accountable, Someone there for when we fall short of our own standards to both comfort and to scold us (depending on the need). Can you make sense of the madness that is your worry, That is your stress? No. can you make it easier on yourself? Yes. Share with a friend or a loved one see how good it feels to know your not the only one who feels. Food for thought goodnight ;)